Are You Negative and Don’t Know It?

Thanks to my lovely bride for pointing me to an article in the current "Sam’s Club Source" magazine.  I know, we don’t normally have much kind to say about the big box stores, but "Stop Starting with ‘No’, ‘But’, or ‘However‘" is quite interesting and we believe in giving credit where credit is due.

Michael Goldsmith, the author of the article, is an executive coach. What_got_you_here
He happens to have a new book out called "What Got You Here Won’t Get You There".  (Which is available from Sam’s, of course.)

He tells the story of an executive he coached a few years ago.   The executive had a reputation for being inflexible though he didn’t think the reputation was deserved.   Goldsmith told him that each time he started a sentence with either  "no",  "but", or  "however"  he would owe  Goldsmith $20.00.  Within  one hour he was out $420.00. 

Taking Goldsmith’s advise, the executive went on to bigger and better things and gives Goldsmith credit for the change in his personality. 

He writes, "When I later asked him which of my coaching suggestions helped him the most, he smiled and replied, ‘Before you speak-stop, take a breath, and ask yourself: ‘Is it worth it?’"

"One inexpensive, surefire way to monitor our competitive makeup is to have our co-workers, friends, and family members pay attention to the number of times we begin sentences with ‘no,’ ‘but’, or ‘however.’  Most of my clients are shocked to realize how often they begin sentences with these words-without even hearing themselves-and how easy it can be to inadvertently discourage others from sharing their ideas."

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